September 12, 2015, changed my life forever. Brian and I recited our wedding vows and entered into holy matrimony. Marriage. We already knew we were each other’s forevers. Now it was official.

“Til death do us part” is a key phrase in the traditional wedding vows, and a phrase Brian and I uttered. Never did it cross our minds that would come so soon.

But here’s the thing: “Til death do us part” doesn’t encompass the depth and breadth of marriage with your true soul mate. Yes, death wrenched us physically apart. But our love? Our bond? That lives on forever. I truly believe our love transcends even death; that his love travels down from heaven. I hope mine likewise reaches him.

Brian and I also wrote custom wedding vows for each other, which we recited in addition to the traditional ones. Part of mine read, “Our infinite love knows no boundaries. Together, hand-in-hand, heart-in-heart, we are unstoppable.” We no longer can travel hand-in-hand, but our heart-in-heart lives on. Again, the bond transcends death. It lives on even as he does not.

Today my heart breaks to celebrate our anniversary alone. It cracks to not enjoy our anniversary traditions together, to relive our memories of the day and to share our dreams for our expansive future. It doesn’t escape me that I indeed was Brian’s forever. But it’s cruel how short his forever was, and how much of my forever I must live without him.

Amid the brokenness I genuinely try to celebrate our love, which remains very much alive. In that way, we beat “til death do us part.” Death has not done us part. Our love triumphs. Our hearts, our souls—separated though they are by death—remain very much entwined. We win. One day, when my time comes, our hands will be reunited alongside our hearts.